This Father's Day, I was inspired to write two poems for my lifelong friend and beloved teacher, David Truman. He is truly my spiritual father. I met him when I was only 19, and quite spiritually and socially immature. He has loved me, guided me, and changed my world immeasurably for the better. I wish more people knew him, because he could help others as he has helped me. And knowing him is such a joy!

Here, so you can know him a little, are my two poems. The first starts out addressing God the Father, and then reflects on the most beautiful mortal life I've ever seen — David's. The second is an attempt to tell David how he means to me.

Come on, people! It’s time for humanity to start winning some rounds against the ego. Too long has the ego been winning the battle for human minds, human hearts, human wills. Slowly, progressively, ego has eroded humanity’s spiritual freedom.

The ego plays dirty, working to weaken the individuals’ will:

by encouraging beliefs of weakness and futility that dissuade people from even trying;

by sapping the strength from constructive actions, making us pull our punches and get disappointing results;

by undermining resolve with indecision and discouragement, so that good trends soon dissipate and disappear;

by misinterpreting the events of life, promoting wrong and unhelpful lessons;

by injecting self-doubt and fanning distrust of others;

by twisting spiritual truths to make them support isolation, self-direction, self-reliance, self-aggrandizement — and thus lose much of their salvatory power.

It’s time for us to look at the big picture of our lives, our culture, our planet, our history, our aspirations, and see something wrong in that picture. There is far too little real fulfillment. There is far too little true, consistent love. There is far too little lasting peace. There is far too little deep understanding. There is far too little personal caring. There is far too little cooperation with God. This is not okay with the human heart. Only a person who has been numbed by convictions of powerlessness and distracted by endless consolations would deny that.

Friends, we must take back our wills. We must make good, loving, uplifting choices. We must be consistent. We must join hands and affirm each other’s strength. Please! We can do it, if we will.

So much I could say about love. But one thing that really moves me the most about love is what an amazing transformative power it has. I have a story to illustrate:

My junior high school had a standing awards in a variety of academic subjects, given to the students who scored highest on special tests. The winners had their names announced in an annual ceremony, and engraved on permanent plaques in the school lobby. It was the greatest honor in our young lives.

During my last year in school, my twin sister and I were both exceptional students, and both of us felt sure we'd win at least one each. I remember my surprise, when the award ceremony came, to hear her name and my name read over and over again. I didn't expect that! But even more surprising to me was my reaction to what was happening. I found myself rooting for my sister Jo each time, not me. I intuitively felt that my pleasure in winning would be greatly diminished by any disappointment she might feel. But my pleasure at her victory would be undiminshed. So I really preferred her to win, and I inwardly and outwardly rejoiced every time her name was called.

Years later, I realized that was the awakening of mature love in my young heart. It blossomed as a beautiful self-transcending, joyful motivation in a girl who had never given unselfishness a second thought.

People illustrate this same power when they tell that story about the mother who lifted a car to rescue her run-over child. Under no other circumstances could that woman have performed that feat.

The mom who lifted the car is an extreme and unusual circumstance. But love has wrought similar miracles, on smaller a smaller scale, in many many lives. People transcend themselves regularly for love. They discipline their anger, they overcome their fatigue, they ignore their fear, they break their bad habits. I truly think love has changed more people for the better than religion (in fact, many of the people who have had spiritual transformations actually were motivated by love).

Love makes us greater, stronger, bigger than we otherwise would be — as great, strong, and big as we were meant to be.

This poem was inspired by fellow Zaadzster, Fee, and the simple brilliance of some of his recent blog comments.


Silver flashes against the sky.

Lightning makes shine the jagged branch.

One shoots upward, the other down.

Both powerful in their way.

The morning comes. The  storm is gone;

the noble oak remains.

But he and I remember the night

When he was twins with the light.

The day before yesterday. I stay up all night often. When I am doing something that someone needs, something that will really help people (which is most of what I do, everyday), I get a real creative "wind" and I have lots of energy.

I am very low in my desire for sleep, although I do need it like everyone else. At a certain point of staying awake, my mind starts to be tired — less clear, less quick — and I pretty much have to turn in then. My body's tiredness is less persuasive to me; I can get second, third, fourth winds and keep going.

I aspire to reducing my need to sleep, and I'm "in training" for that. My training consists of gradually reducing my "normal" night of sleep; meditating daily and consciously relying on heavenly sources of energy; periodic exercise; healthy diet; maintaining complete lack of concern about when and how long I sleep; loving respect for my body (when it says it needs rest, I nap).

What does it mean to be a lover in this world? My dear friend and spiritual teacher David Truman offered a tremendously moving explanation ten years ago. In my mind, that talk remains to this day an unparalleled description of what love is. He recently posted two video clips from that talk in his blog, “What Love Is!”. If you want to love in a way that really makes a difference, it will help you.

Here is a very moving story from it (just to give you a taste; there's much more in the blog):

“The greatest guy in all Olympic history was the time they set up this incredibly diabolical course that everybody remembers as being the worst marathon course they ever set up, because the stadium was on top of a big hill. And so it happened that you got to run 26 miles and then you went up this long grade. Climb, climb, climb, climb at the very end. So this one guy comes through.

Did you see this documentary movie of this Olympic event?

This one guy comes through and there’s a tunnel, like where the football players come out. They come out through the tunnel into the stadium. This guy comes through the tunnel into the stadium and he’s so tired that he gets disoriented. So he starts running in random directions. All he has to do is go one lap around the official track in the stadium to complete the 26, but he can’t do it, because he doesn’t know where he is. So he starts running randomly. And, if you touch him, he’s out. You can’t assist a runner in a race, or he’s disqualified. So nobody could do anything, but watch him run back and forth without knowing where he was.

So, what happened? He ran around a bunch, and then he fell down. And then he got up, and he ran around a little more, and then he fell down. And a little more, fell down. Pretty soon you saw that he could not finish the race.

This guy is the champion of all time, and he lost the race and he never even finished the race. But he ran until he couldn’t run any more. Nobody else did that! What a runner! This guy is a national treasure. And throughout all history, as long as there is a copy of that film, everybody ought to know — this guy is a runner. This guy is the all-time champion of all Olympic champions, because he’s the only one who ran till the end. His end. His.”

Also, you can get some fabulous, everyday ideas about loving from this article on the Soul Progress website: “How to Buy Happiness… By Being 100% Committed.”

Love,

Sara

When I was a teenager, I was a rebel. As far as I was concerned, my university professor dad spoke in lectures, and I didn’t want to be lectured to. So I didn’t listen to much of what he had to say. But one day, as I was planning for my freshman year in college, he gave me some advice that made so much sense, I listened to it, and I remember it to this day. He said, “It doesn’t matter what field you major in, so don’t worry too much about the choice. Once you’ve had the experience of going deep in one subject, you can do it in any subject.”

He was right about how learning works. And I’ve learned, since then, that love relationships work the same way. Once you’ve been in the deep waters of relationship with one person, you can go there with others.

This is a powerful principle, but it doesn’t get tested or proven much in today’s world. There are a number of popular ideas working against people even trying it. One is the whole idea of waiting for your soul mate, or for Mr. or Ms. Right. “When I find the right person, I’ll be able to love then.” So, people spend much or all of their lives in the shallows, waiting.

Another is the restrictive way people define fidelity. Many mates simply prohibit each other from befriending anyone else of the opposite sex. Some spouses are even jealous of their mate’s same-sex friends. With that kind of guillotine hanging over their heads, people tend to think of love as a one-time deal (or at least, one-at-a-time). So people may love one, but never go beyond one.

And then, on the other end of the spectrum, the idea of universal love has become very PC. Unfortunately, in common practice universal love is just a general feeling of good will and non-reactivity toward lots of people you don’t personally know or care about. But there is little depth to it. No challenge, no stretching, no nurturing, no deep understanding, no personal sharing, no risk. So, there’s a real limit on how much universal love really nurtures for anyone, or strengthens anyone. And on how well it prepares anyone for a deep personal relationship.

Love is something you learn by doing. As my friend and teacher, David Truman, says, “Jumping into love is like jumping off a high diving board: there’s no way to get ready for it. You've got to jump, and now is the best time.” That’s how he learned to love. After spending years meditating and living the life of a yogi, he decided to face the music of intimacy. He resolved that no matter what happened in his relationships, he would not retreat. He would face it and deal with it until it was fully unraveled. And that’s what he did. In the process, he confronted and defeated all his inner demons that wanted to avoid love, and he created a beautiful understanding and bond with first one person, and then others. That, actually, was how the group that is now called the Living Love Fellowship was formed.

By the time I was ready to dig in to love, myself, two of my friends — David Truman and Francine James — had already traveled that path. With the help of their committed love and friendship, I too braved and lived through the emotional whitewater with another human being; I learned to commit, to hang in there, to do what it takes to come out the other side together, closer. And long before I was anywhere near perfect at relating (I’m still far from perfect!), I extended my love to others as well. Over and over, I practiced throwing my hat into the ring, confessing my feelings, listening to what was spoken and not, being sensitive, letting go of my agendas and preferences, back-pedaling when I put my foot in it, reducing the psychic distance between myself and others, receiving feedback gracefully, giving feedback compassionately, facing flaws, suspending judgment, recognizing and fixing misunderstandings, healing the wounds I inflicted, taking heat, giving comfort. Gradually I learned to surrender to doing more of what works and less of what doesn’t. 

The hardest time was the first. Now I can extend my friendship to another and know the check won’t bounce. It’s a great feeling to have that confidence. And it’s a great pleasure to hold a human heart, up close and personal. I highly recommend it.



Competence in relationship is the pearl of great price. It takes years of investment to acquire, but you can support the whole world with it forever after that.

If you want to consider this subject more deeply, I highly recommend that you read David's post "Agape, Personal Love, and World Healing" and the inspiring and helpful article "How to Buy Happiness... by Being 100% Committed."